Classroom Blues

Had to teach a class today. I walked in. It was my first class with the graduate students. Was a bit nervous. I was about seven odd minutes early. There were four or five students in the class when I entered. I nodded at them and smiled. One of them forced a pale smile back at me, the rest looked away. So much for trying to be friendly. I've taught undergrads before, they are much more amicable. At least they smile back at you. Grad students are rather uncommunicative, and I always get the feeling they think they are wasting their time sitting in my lectures.

10:10 I started the lecture, 15 -17 students in the class. Very unresponsive. I dont know if it was me, or if it was them. But they were one helluva quiet bunch. I cracked a joke, just to lighten the mood up a bit. Silence. One girl tittered nervously. I dont crack bad jokes, in fact I think it was a very good joke. I dunno why they didnt laugh. These people were denting my self esteem dammit. To top it off, I didnt even know if they understood what I was talking about. Everytime I asked a question, half of them would look at me like startled deer, and the other half would focus on some imaginary insect crawling on their desks, and the third half would look out of the window.

I was frustrated by the end of the class. I really dont know if there's something wrong with the way I teach, or if it was just the class .. GRRRR ....